Why

I decided I should take the plunge and start a blog. My reasoning is that reading blogs helped me through my pregnancy with James and maybe I can help someone else. My son James is my everything and I couldn't imagine living without him. Pregnancy is separated by three trimesters and for me they were nausea, ligament pain, and an emotional roller coaster. At 29 weeks I went to see a MFM Doctor for an ultrasound because my Doctor had heard an abnormal heart beat and at 18 weeks I had what looked to be marginal placenta previa. The ultrasound started out fine, we saw again that we were definitely going to be having a boy, my placenta previa was gone, and his heart looked amazing! So far so good I thought. The tech tells us that she is bringing in the Doctor, he comes in and starts doing some measuring and I notice the room seems strangely quiet, I look over and the Doctors face is calm but serious. That's when the questions started. How tall are you and your husband? What about others in the family? Any family history of abnormalities? By this time I am starting to panic, and he tells us, the baby's long bones are measuring in the 5th percentile and this can mean a few things, either down syndrome, skeletal dysplasia, or nothing at all so see you in 4 weeks. I am still in shock. He shakes my hand and walks out of the room. Leaving me, Nick, and the tech. I feel like I have been ran over by a truck! Time passes and although Nick and I only shared what we were told with a few people, we felt ok with whatever would happen. My next ultrasound the Doctor is amazed by how big James is, my big boy was showing to be over 6lbs! He tells us at that appointment that he believes the baby will have skeletal dysplasia and would like to send me to a specialist. What he didn't tell me but would tell my Ob is that he was thinking my son would have a lethal form and would not live due to his chest size. Days later when I went to see my Ob and she tells me this am heart broken. Here I am 34 weeks and being told my baby won't live, his chest looks too small for him to be able to breathe on his own. I asked her how long he would live and she told me it is hard to say it could be minutes or days. She also wanted me to see that specialist so that we knew more about what was going on. All I can think about is why me? How could I not get to keep my beautiful baby boy? This was the hardest thing I ever had to tell Nick. I closed the door to the nursery when I got back from my Doctor never wanting to open that door again. Two days later we see the specialist and she within seconds tells me it looks like achondroplasia but his chest is showing to be small so we had an amnio done to make sure it was not anything else. This whole time we are still not talking to people about what we are going through but I was finding comfort reading blogs about people who have been through this. Two long weeks later I got the best news of my life, it is achondroplasia. Thank God my son is going to live! Whether he would be two feet or ten I didn't care I just wanted my son.  I was able to open that nursery and finally start enjoying my pregnancy again. At 39 weeks and 2 days my son James was born via c-section and is perfect and breathing just fine. A little over 4 months later here I am with my precious gift and loving every minute I have with him. I no longer ask why all this happened to me, I consider myself lucky to have my son and to be able to learn from him.